Fake Fashion: Condoms, Socks, & Mushroom Clouds
My kids’ feet stink. I mean – Farmer stepping in shit all day wash your feet BEFORE getting into the house kinda stink.
I don’t get it! Mere hours after bathing them I fight the urge to Lysol the crap out of their feet.
In efforts to eradicate the problem I’ve spent the past week searching for girls’ cotton socks. Easy right? Sears, The Bay, Children’s Place, Old Navy, Gap, Joe Fresh, Walmart, Payless, Kiddie Kobbler, Souris Mini, Gymboree, Giant Tigre… Even the flipping dollar store.
Nada. Zip. Niente.
What I found instead was several poly-blends. Polyester (up to 80%), Lycra, Spandex, Nylon… and 2% – 5% Rubber.
That’s right folks. RUBBER.
The same rubber that sheaths your man’s cockstand is now being found in fucking socks.
Does this condom make me look fat? #fashion Click To Tweet
I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in * that * meeting.
“There’s not enough synthetic crap in our socks – we need something… something more!“
“What about recycling old tires and turning the rubber into a cloth-like fiber? It would certainly add to the plasticky feeling of polyester and nylon – Think about the planet! “
“OMG That’s genius! Imagine! Men’s socks. Women’s socks. Kids’ socks…. Unbreathable fucking rubber socks for everyone!”
The whole room erupts in applause; it’s a wonderful day. The CEO sheds a happy tear at the good deed they are doing for
the environmenttheir fat wallets.
Between us? The mushroom cloud that forms when my husband and kids take off their shoes will probably kill us all well before the millions of condoms lying on the ocean floor.
So where has all the cotton gone? Anyone? Bueller? Hello?
Well, I just saw on Dr. Phil that newspaper can help! It is an absorbent item, put it in everyone’s shoes!
Mitch
Oh man. You and I are in the same camp when it comes to the stinky feet. My kids’ feet smell like they MUST have gangreen.
Stinky feet is a big thing with my 8 year old son. he wears socks and I wind up spraying out his sneakers and airing them out every night. What the heck is he doing that they are so stinky!
My older daughter had feet that smelled so bad, the dog would whine! Too funny!
It’s crazy how much sweat they work up just from work and school. It’s best to avoid the entryway until that smell dissipates!
HOw interesting! Too funny what they have out there now adays, thanks for sharing!
I hope you find the socks you are looking for.
I can not believe you can’t find any cotton socks. I had no idea they were putting rubber in socks. I will be paying more attention to the labels.
So funny! I have a boy so I know stinky feet well!
I had no clue rubber is used in socks. Good luck witht he odor situation LoL
Wow… I didn’t realize that all cotton socks were so hard to find. Crazy that rubber is socks…soooo not a breathable item. Yuck.
My husbands shoes smell terrible after work. He’s on his feet from 6am-4pm everyday, working non-stop so I am going to be trying someones solution above of newspaper!
Ya just never know what you’re going to find in socks, right? Kidding. Sort of. 🙂
Seriously I may have spewed something at my monitor laughing so hard, this post should come with a warning sign! ROFLMAO 🙂
Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly
Yeah I always have a big turn off for B.O. and stinky feet. I can feel your pain
I looked at the pics before I read anything and would NEVER have guessed lol Wow that’s amazing!