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Category: My Used Uterus

God Let There Be Shoes In Heaven

GOOOOOOD MORNING IN-TER-WEBBBBS (in my best Robin Williams voice). I.  Am.  A Uterus.  Yes – a real, live uterus; don’t let this happen again – though Boss-Lady *did* think your comments were fucking hilarious! I try.  I really do.  I try to blog and twit-twat and facedeck and all that on a regular basis but the wi-fi […]
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Selfies, Conferencing, and Bestest Friends

Once again Herself dragged my ass out to BlogHer’14.  Can you say SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA?  WHOOOOT! Whooping and hollering we made like Thelma & Louise and headed west for the vacation of a lifetime.  Well, of the year – maybe; there were no cabana boys – and no beach – but there was a pool!  […]
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When life kicks you in the arse….

I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately.  This precious little thing, so beautiful – so full of life. Imagine longing and planning for this sweet little pea, falling in love from the moment you saw her in your husband’s eyes.  Knowing that together you were creating a legacy, a life… a family. Watching her […]
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I’m going to #Blogher13 Y’all!

Oh yes, the rumors are true.  I’s is a goin’ to that fresh hell called Blogher’13 with 5000 other bitter uteruses (uteries?).  I can just imagine the chatter I’ll hear from an overworked and underpaid bunch (I don’t mean the bloggers – I mean you!).  I’m packing up my droopy self along with a healthy […]
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Wife, Mother, Daughter… Woman?

I’m a raging mess of hormones on a good day so after I evicted the 2nd squatter you can imagine just how I felt – never mind what it did to Herself.  A small bout of postpartum?  Absolutely.  Weird adult acne issues? Definitely.  Throw in a bit of hair loss and a body that doesn’t […]
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Guest Post: Martinis and Sex

I am a used uterus.  Only slightly used, mind you.  I’ve done my job and I think my Boss Lady would give me a glowing recommendation.  We get along pretty well; I try not to cramp her style too much and she doesn’t expect a lot from me, so the relationship works. I’ve had two […]
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My Motherful Life has a uterus with a voice! Guest Post

Apparently, I’m not the only uterus with a voice.  An early follower from Twitter, My Motherful Life, lets her uterus speak up and share her story.  Enjoy! *** Howdy!  It has been a long time since I’ve gotten a chance to speak for myself.  These last few years, my supervisor has been making decisions for […]
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Welcome to my world!

I’m old.  I’m tired. I’ve had a few squatters come through and it seems they never want to leave.  The place wouldn’t pass a building inspection – the pelvic floor is all but ruined – and the neighbors are weird.  I’ve been kicked, poked, prodded and generally abused by Herself and aliens alike.
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The Boss-Lady had gonads

Yeah, I said it.  Herself is weird.  And annoying.  And she has BALLS. Weird enough her uterus is streaming Youtube videos while tweeting and blogging.  Annoying enough she sings early ’90 throwback songs at the top of her lungs. Now she thinks she’s Julia freakin Roberts and pulled a classic Pretty Woman move. Friday night, […]
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