Ants.

They are ugly, and gross, and icky.  They have a fondness for half-eaten apples and sandwich leftovers.  My kids manage to hoard food in their rooms despite being well fed and repeatedly reminded that no food is allowed in bedrooms.

Need I say more?

Not sure why <twitch> but somehow they manage to make their way in every spring.  The ants, not the kids.  Those just never leave… 😉 #mommyhumour

Cue the 8 year old cleaning her room.  Her best friend is ‘assisting’ as she’s tired of being told Jasmine can’t go out and play because her room isn’t clean.

“OMG I see an ant!” says one child.  “It’s the queen!” says another.  The two littles exclaim “Ant MIMIIIIIII!” because Toupie and Binou.

As I reheat my first cup of coffee for the third time I notice an open bag of potting soil on the counter.

“Jasssssmiiiinnnnnne!”

“Don’t worry Mrs. A, we just made a home for the ant!” to which I respond that ants in the house are the be killed. I instruct the crew to terminate the intruder and – naively thinking the saga is over (I’m blaming the caffeine withdrawal) – I go about my day and forget about the one ant the kids saw.

BHAHAHAHAHA

Imagine my surprise a few days later when all the kids, Bella included, come running down the stairs screaming.  Chloe & Annabelle can’t stop repeating “Ant Mimi! Ant Mimi!  Lots-and-lots of Ant Mimis!”.  Bella is carrying a photo box – the pretty ones from the dollar store – in which I find an old apple core, potting soil, bread crusts, and a few layers of paper towels.  Duct tape covers the open top to prevent the new tenants from leaving.

“Welcome Home Ant Mimi” is blazoned across the side topped with a drawing of ants traveling towards a door.

For fuck’s sake! I’m trying to kill the damn things and she builds them a condo!  Or some sort of minimum security chi-chi prison, I’m not sure.

I'm trying to kill the damn things, she built them a condo! #ants #motherhood Click To Tweet

So.  How’s your day going?